A Child of No God
by IronicEnding
Summary: A fluff one shot of Kira and Lacus during the time after Seed ends, and Destiny begins. Our hero tries to come to terms with the nature of his birth, but fails to do so with just his abilities.


A/N

I do not Own Gundam Seed or any of the characters used in this story. I am not compensated for my work.

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A Child of No God

Deep azure waves, their peaks crested in foaming white, lapped gently upon the shoreline. Their rhythmic motion calming as they rolled to and from, as though they were trying to reach out to sooth a troubled soul.

Upon the sandy beach, not far from the sweeping waters, a lone figure sat, his violet eyes glazed over as they stared blankly out to sea. As a soft ocean breeze ruffled his brunette hair, he sighed softly before resting his head against the arms that hugged protectively around his knees.

To look upon him, one might think the young boy asleep, his slumber silent if not for the muffled noises that could sporadically be heard from him. A boy… to call him that didn't seem to fit, not anymore, did it? Could a person who had been through so much, who had killed and fought in a tragic war at such a young age, still be a child? What were the qualifications to be called a man? What made a man… a man? For the solitary boy sitting on the beach, this and one more pressing question existed in his troubled mind. What made a human… human?

It was a sad sight to see, one so young pondering so much while feeling so alone. The deep lines of worry upon such a young face, could even the innocence of those too ignorant of such concerns bring his mind back from the dark depths he had fallen into?

Kira's head jerked forward as he was forcibly snapped back into reality, the result of a wet ball of sand hitting him on the back of his cranium. Bits of sand lingered in his dark tresses while the rest trickled down, some of it making its way down the inside of the dark blue T-shirt he wore. The rest fell to become once again a part of the beach.

His hand reached behind him, rubbing the back of his head in slight annoyance, as he wiped away the remnants of the sand. Letting out a mental sigh, Kira was a bit flustered. "It was such a peaceful afternoon, too." He mumbled.

Truth be told, it was indeed a gorgeous day. The sun burned brightly in the sky, unchallenged by any clouds. Kira couldn't decide how, but the sky felt … bluer than usual. It was the kind of afternoon one wished they could frame, but couldn't, relying on their memory of the moment instead.

"Kira! KIRA!" a few children giggled as they held some more balls of sand threateningly. "You promised to play with us today after classes!" yelled the oldest orphan present who shared the same brunette hair as Kira. She put up a sad poutting face that she had seen her mommy use on Kira many times, and with great success, while a few others gave him big sad puppy dog eyes.

Suddenly his problems didn't seem so important anymore. It took something more important to get his mind off his worries, and these kids needed him, as much as he needed… her. For these children, he would put all his fears aside, if only for the moment.

Gaining his feet, Kira stood and smiled, unable to resist the charms of so many children. He brushed off the last remaining particles of moist sand and waved to them, feeling the warmth return to him as he spoke to the young ones.

"Alright alright! I'm coming, but gimme a few minutes. Go find mommy and I'll be right there." He couldn't help but grin when he said mommy, but then again he always smiled when he thought of her.

"Mmmm…..KAY!" The oldest child chimed, her sweet voice triumphant as she waved goodbye before running off along with her 'posse'.

The children had taken to calling Lacus mommy. She was always there to watch over them, always there to take care of them. Lacus could still be considered a child herself, given her button nose, soft voice, and giggles that can only be described as too cute to Kira. However her ladylike features and curves often betrayed her childlike demeanor. Her strong motherly instincts became apparent during the time she nursed Kira back to health when he was badly injured in battle. Those same instincts enabled her to consider and treat each one of the war orphans as if they were her own, and to Lacus, they very much were.

Kira still stood rooted to his spot on the beach, watching his children run back to the orphanage, as if his gaze alone would guarantee them a safe even if short journey. They kicked up sand and filled the surrounding air with laughter and giggles as each one slowly made their way back home. Oddly enough they never called Kira daddy, though each child considered him one. It certainly wasn't because of a lack of love, but because of Lacus. She had yet to learn all of Kira's pain, all his suffering, and was, because of this, scared to give him yet another label with all the responsibilities it entailed.

Friend… son… student… protector… warrior… hero…Coordinator… Ultimate Coordinator… and to some… murderer, all the things Kira had been and is. Lacus didn't want to add another label – especially one that carried an even greater responsibility to those so innocent and needing. She knew he wasn't ready and her love for him refused to allow her to burden him more before the appropriate time… before his wounded heart and soul were could handle it.

Kira eventually made his way back to the house. He crept in hoping he could surprise the little ones, and slowly made his way though the house towards the only room that had noise coming from it. It was a big house, a mansion almost, but with so many residents most would call it cramped. Kira wasn't like most people and found it cozy…comforting...familiar even.

His eyes wandered and caught hold of the many pictures placed around the house, which featured him and a pink haired princess along with all their children. Every picture captured what was a rare sight just a year ago, Kira smiling. He reached the door, avoiding all the creaks in the floor that he long ago learned. A slight glow could be seen as the door was slightly ajar, allowing him to peek in unnoticed.

There is no sight more attractive than a woman cooking for someone she loves. Lacus was wearing a conservative pink dress that went down to just below her knees, partially covered by a white apron. The dress hugged her waist while covering her chest, yet leaving her shoulders bare. Her flowing pink hair cascaded down her back loose and free in the fashion Kira liked best.

She was surrounded by chattering children, all eager for her attention. Kira never understood why she wore the apron, since it never got dirty. It was like the dirt understood that someone so pure was never meant to be sullied.

As he stood observing, his thoughts were interrupted by several of the younger boys yelling, "Look at me! Look at me!" quickly followed by "You're not looking!" It felt like a real family….it is a real family. Whilst leaning against the door, a half grin materialized across his face as he just took in the feel of the scene. The sight left Kira dazed as the door creaked open revealing a lone tranced hero.

"KIRA!" yelled all the children simultaneously. Before anything more could be said, they grabbed his hands and dragged him out to play.

"Oh Kira" Lacus giggled at the sight and continued cooking, humming a tune to herself. A smile blossomed across her face, accentuated by the pink lip gloss she always wore, as she thought about what a great daddy Kira made. Her smile grew bigger when she thought what a great husband he would make, one day

Kira was dragged outside by the kids who couldn't get there fast enough. There he taught them a version of tag he played when he was younger, which required the one tagged to stand still till someone else touched them. They didn't need expensive toys, bright colors, or loud music as they had each other, because what could really be more important? For the next few hours at least, one tiny island of orb was surrounded with laughter and all thoughts of war, pain, and suffering abandoned them.

Night was upon them soon. Kira was relieved at the sound of Tori arriving and landing on his shoulder. It was Lacus' way of telling them dinner was ready and it was time to wash up. The kids were alerted of the news and he lead them back in, despite the protests and groans given by his children.

Soon everyone was gathered at the table. It was lavishly decorated, with the centerpiece being the kids' latest arts and crafts project. It wouldn't win any art awards, but to Kira and Lacus, each one was the most beautiful work yet. As always Lacus had outdone herself, making each meal look like the kind you would expect on Thanksgiving Day. Somehow though, all of it was always eaten. The Reverend was absent from this gathering, having prior commitments.

Kira and Lacus loved the children to no end, but at the dinner table they asked for peace and quiet. It was the only way they could all sit together and just enjoy each other's company without booger jokes or hearing about who got more dessert. Kira, as usual, found himself gazing lovingly into Lacus' big soft baby-blue eyes. Lacus was well aware of his stares, but feigned ignorance, fearing he would shy away if she revealed she knew.

Kira had yet to verbally admit to her his true feelings. It was never that he didn't love her because he did more than anyone else, he just wasn't ready yet. He by no means needed to articulate his feelings for Lacus. Lacus somehow just knew, she just understood them, and thus never pressure him.

Of course the children knew everything about everyone. One of the younger orphans saw Kira gaze at his mommy and couldn't hold back

"AWWW! Kira likes mo….." but the little one was interrupted when the young brunette girl from earlier kicked him in the shin underneath the table.

Kira looked away shyly, while both he and Lacus felt red in cheeks. He cleared his throat and stood up. "I…err….um……will clean the table, you kids get to bed ok?"

Kira was then given many a malicious glance, as several of the kids threateningly held spoonfuls of food. Drugged up pilots he could handle, however a dozen angry kids would be more than anyone could take. He had to appease them somehow or Lacus would get upset. It's lucky that Kira could think quickly in hostile situations, as he may have just the thing. He gave the kids a calm smile, in an attempt to disarm their aggressive behavior

"If you are all in bed in the next 20 min, ill tell you guys a story about a blonde princess and her blue haired knight!"

Without another word the dining room was emptied, leaving only Kira and Lacus alone for a change. He moved to her side of the table to gather the dishes first, while she just watched him with a amorous gaze. Something about him doing housework was just sooo…appealing.

He leaned in close when he came to take her plate away, for reasons more selfish than practical, feeling a little guilty doing it, until the scent of her overwhelmed his senses. He could never decide just what that fragrance was, but he loved it. It was like it was an aroma made especially for her, a mix of flowers never sensed by others. He lingered there for a second longer than he should have, when he was interrupted by a sweet, almost naive voice…

"Kira….?" The brunette jumped back a little, careful not to drop the dishes. He gathered the rest of the tableware and brought them to the sink. Lacus got up to join him, and together they would wash and dry the plates. Without a word being said, Kira put the last of the dishes away, and made his way towards the kids' room.

He sat at the edge of their bed and began to narrate the story of a tomboyish princess and her valiant knight who together would save the kingdom. Not even half way though the story, Kira realized all of his kids were asleep, clearly tuckered out from the day's activities. He got up and kissed each and every one of them on their foreheads and headed towards the door. He was startled to see Lacus standing there, a tear rolling down her eye.

"Lacus…whats wrong? Did something happen?" She smiled just for him and took his hand within her own.

"No…nothing…I just.." and without a word more being spoken Kira understood. He placed his finger on the tip of her lips, letting her know she didn't need to say anything more. The contact with her lips sent a cool chill down his body, and a warm blush to his cheeks. Hand in hand they walked out of the room, and out of the house towards the beach. It was their routine each evening, to share each night with one another. Lacus delicately sat herself down upon the sand. Kira sat just in front of her, so he could lean back against her, so she could support him.

It was a cool night, filled with the sounds of the waves crashing against the land as if in anger. The sand felt cool beneath their feet, causing both of them to bury their toes into it a little, searching for a little warmth that could only be found with each other. As fate should have it, there was a full moon out that night, proudly offering its light to the couple who have lost so much and given even more.

Lacus wrapped her arms around him and Kira rested his head against her shoulder, his nose just inches from her neck. He sighed contently as that familiar aroma trickled its way back into his nose. It was a perfect moment. Kira was as close to being happy as he had ever been….until the silence was broken by a slightly heartbroken voice.

"Kira, whats wrong? You've barely said two words to me all day. Did I do something wrong?"

In that moment Kira sat up straight and sighed. It hurt him every time she used that tone. That tone that signaled she was upset, that tone that said she wasn't happy, that tone that made him feel like he had failed her in some way.

"Kira, please…..tell me.." Her voice became even more trouble.

"Lacus, you never did anything to hurt me…..it's because of you im not a complete mess now…I just…" Before he continued he was embraced by two arms that pulled him back into her. She knew where this conversation would go. It wasn't the first time. Kira had been through so much, learned so much, and done too much. As long as he had her, he could do it all again, would do it again.

For a few minutes Kira felt at peace again, as this time his head resting right over her heart. The gentle beating pulling him into a soft lull. It was like each part of her body was synced to some kind of rhythm, the melody of her voice, the beating of her heart, the stead rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. Before getting too entranced by its soothing rhythm, he began to speak…his voice on the verge of breaking.

"Will I be forgiven?"

"Kira?" she asked puzzled.

He sighed and continued a little afraid of what she might think of him. "When I die, while I be forgiven?" He started to choke up near the end of that sentence, as if his very wellbeing depended on the response he got.

Lacus responded by stroking his hair and speaking to him in that calming voice he cherished so much. "Of course silly, you have done so much good in your life. You mean so much to so many people." She hesitated for just a second, "You mean so much to m-" but she didn't get to continue as Kira interrupted her.

"But who will forgive me?"

Lacus continued to tenderly stroke his hair gently, loving the feel of it between her fingers.

"God forgives everyone Kira, you've heard the Reverend talk to our kids about that. God forgives and loves all his children. God knows why you had to do what you did during the war. No one blames you. If anything they owe you so…"

Once again Kira felt the need to interrupt her, despite the fact he loved to hear her say anything at all. "But I am a child of no god." The Pink haired angel looked down at him puzzled, as if he just said the most absurd thing possible. Sensing her confusion he continued, gazing into her eyes but finding it hard to do so. She deserved to know…she needed to know. "Lacus….I wasn't born, but created. I'm not a child of god but a creation of man. What god would love a child like that?"

"Kira." Lacus tried to interrupt but stopped herself. He needed to get this off his chest.

"It's why I haven't gone home yet….why I haven't gone to see my par…the Yamatos yet. How could they have ever loved someone so……fake…so not theirs." With that he began to sob, tears rolling down his cheeks. He held Lacus tightly for comfort, but what happened next surprised Lacus more than it did Kira.

She stood up and pulled away from his embrace, looking out into the ocean. "I didn't realize you didn't love our kids Kira."

Kira stared at her shocked. He never saw her like this. So… riled. He could barely believe the words coming out her mouth. He quickly got up and pulled her around so she would have to face him. How could she think he didn't love their kids? He was about to speak when he realized Lacus was looking at the beach, tears flowing from her eyes.

"You do love them…. don't you? That proves it. Kira god is the parent that loves all children, whether they realize it or not. Just like how you love all our kids here, even though you are not their biological parent. If one of these kids shared your past, would you love them any less?"

Without hesitation, Kira spoke truthfully "Of course not! I love them."

Lacus still looked down but her tears stopped. "And no matter how much trouble they caused, you would always forgive them?"

"Of course Lacus, they could never do anything that I would not….." and he stopped talking as he realized just how much smarter she was than him, ultimate coordinator or not.

Lacus gazed lovingly into his eyes, as he wiped away the remaining tears from her face. That adorable smile returned to her as she moved back the stray strands of pink hair from her face to behind her ears. "So you see…?"

Kira didn't need to verbalize his response. He nodded and pulled her close to him for a warm embrace. The moonlight danced off her skin and onto Kira, binding the two, just as long as they had each other. This time it was the pink-haired ones turn to rest her head on her loved ones shoulder. She sighed happily and whispered "Im glad…"

She regretfully broke from their embrace, and took her seat back on sand, motioning for Kira to join her. He took his place resting against her once again. His eyes remained open, staring at her soft neck, which was just begging to be nuzzled. Kira didn't know what came over him, frankly he didn't know he had it in him, but Kira moved closer and placed a series of small kisses on her neck. Lacus was more than a little shocked, as her cheeks turned as pink as her hair, maybe even a shade pinker.

Lacus turned to face Kira, her face a little stunned, but very much pleased. She never knew Kira to show so much affection since they have been here. He sat up, so he could gaze upon her at eye level. He held the side of her face with his hand as a adorable smile appeared across her face. Kira gave a little grin as he could see his violet eyes reflect in her baby blues.

Both of them leaned forward, feeling that burning anticipation before the kiss, the unbound desire they both shared. Each started to close their eyes ever so slightly as they neared one another, lips almost brushing against one another. Their lips danced around one another, just touching the tip of the other before pulling back. Their first real kiss…shared at a romantic night setting at the beach, with a full moon shining its light down upon them, or at least that's how it would have been like.

Just as they were about to share their first kiss, Kira felt a jolt at the back of his head for the second time that day. His lips felt that of Lacus', but it couldn't be called a kiss, not a real kiss. Kira quickly turned around to see who could have possibly ruined their moment. He shouldn't have been surprised. It was the little brunette from earlier that day, and this time it was her turn to tease her newfound parents.

"DADDY LOVES MOMMY!" she laughed and giggled, but then quickly covered her mouth, realizing she did what Lacus told her not to by calling Kira daddy. It wasn't fair! Kira was her daddy, so why couldn't she call him that? Yet…the last thing she wanted to do was to upset her mommy. She loved both of them very much and this was very confusing for such a little girl!

She expected to be scolded for both being up so late and out of bed, and for calling Kira daddy. Her muscles tightened in fear of being yelled at, even though her parents never raised their voices to their kids. She closed her eyes as hard as she could, as her head hung down, but the scolding never game.

Instead gentle hands scooped her up. Her head was leaning against the shoulders of the much older brunette who just said "Come on…lets get you back to bed. How about both mommy and daddy finish that story for you?"

The little girl's face lit up like when you find a stack of presents waiting for you on Christmas morning. "OK!" Her mommy and daddy almost never told stories together, and she wasn't about to pass up this chance.

Daddy…..he liked the sound of that. It was definitely something he could get used to, though as he gazed upon Lacus' bright smile, he knew one label he wanted more than anything else.

Carrying the child with one hand, and wrapping the other around Lacus' slim waist, they walked back to the house a more complete family. He had come to this island feeling so alone, only to finally come to the realization that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't a child of no god.

Unknown to either Kira or Lacus, they simultaneously thought the same thing…

"Yes, daddy loves mommy very much."

The End.

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Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I hope you have enjoyed it. Please let me know how I can improve on both my presentation and writing style as it would be much appreciated. 


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